Funny Math Jokes

Its not a funny math jokes, but I wanted to start this page with something nice. We always diss and put maths down because of one reason or another, but take 3 minutes out of your time to see this (dare I say) amazing video about maths, thumb's up to this one!

If you are not finding any of these funny math jokes hilarious, scroll down to the bottom to view some other funny math jokes sites.

Otherwise, why not tell us one of your funny math jokes? Don't forget to mention your name

  • If you know German, here is one: Mathematiker sterben nie - sie verlieren nur ihre Funktionen!

  • In English, it becomes: Mathematicians never die, they just lose their functions!

  • Teacher: Are you good at math?

    Student: Yes and no

    Teacher: What do you mean?

    Student: Yes, I'm no good at math!

  • The number 12 walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour.

    The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, I can't serve you... Why? because you are under 21."

  • An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer.......

    The bartender says "Got it!", and pours two beers.

  • What does a theorem drink when it gets thirsty? Ans: LEMMA-nade...

  • What do you get when you cross an apple with an elephant?.........

    apple elephant cos(theta)!

  • Theorem: All positive integers are interesting. Proof: Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest non-interesting positive integer. But, hey, that's pretty interesting! A contradiction.

  • Theorem: Consider the set of all sets that have never been considered. Hey! They're all gone! Oh, well, never mind...

  • Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?

    A: Probably

  • A professor gives a multiple choice test and sees a student flipping coins. The prof. goes over and asks the student why he's flipping coins and the student explains he didn't study and figures that just random guessing would be better than anything he could do.

    Finally, near the end of the test, the prof. sees the student furiously flipping coins and walks over and asks why.

    The student explains that he's checking his work!

  • A farmer asks his sheepdog to count his new sheep. The dog runs into the field, and after a bit, runs back to his master, "40," replies the dog. "How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!" "I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."

  • What did God say when he created Actuaries?

    He scratched his head and said, "Go figure!" They took it literally...

  • Why is Halloween is equal to Christmas: DEC25 = OCT31 (hint: think OCTAL)

  • Here’s what your math profs mean when they use the following words:

    Clearly: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.

    Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.

    It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it.

    Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long inductions.

    Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.

    Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.

    Two line proof: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.

    Briefly: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.

    Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.

    Proof omitted: Trust me, It's true.

  • e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers "That's a differential operator. If it acts on me, I disappear." e^x says "I'm e^x, I don't have anything to worry about." and keeps on walking. When he reaches the differential operator, he says "Hi, I'm e^x."

    The differential operator responds, "Hi, I'm d/dy"

  • Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series. The first one says: "Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?"

    The second one asks: "Are you sure?"

    The first one says: "Absolutely!"

  • Q: Did you hear about the mathematician whose jacket was too long?

    A: He had a Taylor Expansion.

    For more math jokes try these books (Warning, content may contain adult humour):

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